


Cupid's Arrows

by sophiakuso



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Arrow - Freeform, Character Death, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, I refuse - Freeform, I refuse to let my ship sink, M/M, NO NO NO, Refusal, Soooo much angst, Tollie, anyway, just no, not allowed, so so gay, tommy doesn't die though, tv show rewrite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-07-12 05:54:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7087918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophiakuso/pseuds/sophiakuso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is an AU where Oliver had loved Tommy Merlyn instead of Laurel, but had been much more secretive about it.  He didn’t take anyone with him on The Gambit before it sank, and everything he did was motivated by seeing Tommy again.  This is a rewrite of the show, so bear with me here and everything should be alright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s note: this is an AU where Oliver had loved Tommy Merlyn instead of Laurel, but had been much more secretive about it. He didn’t take anyone with him on The Gambit before it sank, and everything he did was motivated by seeing Tommy again. This is a rewrite of the show, so bear with me here and everything should be alright :)

Oliver stared down at the picture in his hands, the image browned and faded from the sun and from the oils of his fingers. The picture was of Tommy, his smile bright and happy, his eyes showing his happiness. Oliver had looked at it so many times when he had been on the island. He'd kept the photo in his wallet along with one of Laurel that he had kept as well. But Tommy had been the one who had always believed in him, had taken care of him during hangovers and encouraged him to do everything he had ever wanted. Oliver had changed on that island those five years. He had changed so much that he hardly recognized himself anymore. And now that he was home, he could hardly remember who he had been in the past, or who he was supposed to be. All he knew how to do was survive, how to keep himself alive. He didn’t socialize, he didn’t put up smiles to hide his fear, he didn’t do anything other than survive anymore. He sighed and rubbed the pad of his thumb over Tommy’s face, his lips pursing tightly. What he wouldn’t give to be able to tell Tommy everything, to be able to tell him that he loved him, that he survived simply because he wanted to see him again. But he couldn’t tell him. No, Oliver thought. No, it would be too dangerous. And surely he would distance himself from me if he knew about everything. The torture, the killing… He’d hate me…  
Oliver was torn from his thoughts when the door to his room opened. He quickly folded the picture in his hands and stood up, unaware he was going into combat mode; he had a brief thought that these pants were very impractical in case there were an assassin in here and he had to kill them, they were much too tight and restricting. His door opened, however, to reveal his mother, smiling nervously at him as she saw him quickly come out of his fighting stance. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away in slight shame.  
“Oliver,” She said quietly, stepping towards him slowly, like one would with an animal. Oliver felt a stab of anger in his mind and almost told her that he was in fact not an animal to be treated with caution. But before he could, she continued speaking. “There’s someone here to see you. Do you remember Tommy Merlyn?”  
Oliver’s heart fluttered and he inhaled sharply, which made his mother take a quick step away. He couldn’t blame her, really, because he knew she thought he’d been traumatized to the point of being dangerous. To be honest, he almost thought that too. Before his mother got too nervous, Oliver nodded and looked down at the folded photo in his hands, not opening it for his mother to see. “Yeah,” he said, a slight accent on his lips that was mixed Russian and Chinese. He had only spoken those languages for so long, not english, and now he had to practice thinking in english so he didn’t confuse his family and friends. “Yeah, I remember him. He was my best friend.”  
Moira smiled a little more, stepping forward and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. He tensed, but she didn’t notice. “That’s right. He was your best friend. He’s here to see you now, he’s in the living room waiting for you.”  
Oliver couldn’t help it as he looked at his mother in open nervousness, pressing his lips into a thin line and taking a deep breath to try and calm himself. “Could he come up here instead?” he asked, unsure of himself for the first time in ages.  
Moira nodded and rubbed her son’s shoulder. “Of course, darling. I’ll go get him. Just wait here, okay?”  
Oliver nodded and he sat back down on the end of his bed, rubbing a couple fingers between his eyebrows to work out the creases there; it was a habit he’d picked up from Yao Fei, a mannerism that he couldn’t get rid of. His door was open, but Oliver figured he had enough time to change his shirt at least, so he could look nicer for Tommy. He didn’t want his friend/crush to think he was a slob as well as a traumatized little boy. He stood and went over to his closet, taking out a dark blue shirt and shedding his white button down.  
He had been about to put on the dark blue t-shirt when he heard a whisper from his door.  
“Holy shit…”  
Oliver turned quickly with his shirt in hand and his eyes widened as he saw a very shocked and concerned Tommy in the doorway. The blond was frozen like a deer in the headlights for only a moment before he forced himself to frown and he turned, effectively hiding the blush that dusted his cheeks. “Христос, Tommy, don’t you know how to knock?” He tried to pass it off as anger instead of embarrassment and fear, but he doubted himself for a moment and thought that perhaps his true colours showed.  
He was apparently wrong as Tommy stepped forward slowly, almost like he was afraid Oliver would snap at any moment. “Jesus… Your mom said you had scars but… I didn’t know you had _scars_ …”  
Oliver lowered his arms, the shirt dangling from his fingers as he turned his head a little to listen to Tommy better. “You know, I might have been gone for five years, but I don’t think it would change that it’s rude to come in unannounced.”  
Tommy blushed darkly and he looked from Oliver’s face to his back where more scars resided. He took in a shaky breath and reached out tentatively. His fingertips brushed the dragon tattoo on his shoulder. Oliver inhaled sharply and Tommy stood perfectly still, his hand unmoving on Oliver’s sensitive skin. The brunet looked at Oliver cautiously, waiting for a moment, before he looked back at the tattoo. “You never had this before…” He commented quietly.  
Oliver seemed unable to reply for a moment before he dropped his shirt down on the ground and turned towards Tommy, who’s hand retracted. “No,” Oliver said, his voice just as quiet. “No, I didn’t.”  
Tommy looked at Oliver with wide eyes, almost like he was afraid of something. Or someone. There was silence for a very long moment between them. Tommy didn’t know what to do, so he looked down at all the scars on Oliver’s chest. He stepped forward and reached a hand towards one scar on Oliver’s shoulder, tracing it with his fingertips. Oliver looked down at Tommy’s hand, watching it cautiously. Tommy looked down at the scar beneath his fingertips and then looked up to Oliver’s eyes. He hardly recognized those eyes anymore. No longer did they hold the fire of passion and life, but instead they were hardened and unreadable. Tommy used to be able to tell when Oliver was lying to him just by looking him in the eyes, looking into his soul. Now, he could hardly recognize those beautiful, crystal blue eyes that looked like the sea after a storm. Now, they were hard and yielded nothing to him; it was like they weren’t even Oliver’s. Tommy felt so much concern building in his mind, weighing down his heart in his chest. “What happened to you, Ollie?” he whispered, his voice betraying him and showing Oliver that he was scared and concerned.  
Oliver was silent for a moment and he looked up at Tommy’s eyes, eyes watering with tears he hadn’t shed for five years. He smiled sadly and he pressed his lips into a thin line, inhaling shakily and sighing. He looked down at his feet and shook his head, snorting to himself. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, Tommy,” he whispered, the sorrow evident in his voice.  
Tommy looked up at Oliver’s face and he brought his other hand up to Oliver’s cheek. He cupped the blond’s cheek and gave a small, encouraging smile. “Ollie, whatever happened to you is over now. You’re home. You’re safe. You’re free.”  
Oliver bit his lip and sucked it between his teeth, shaking his head. “No, Tommy,” he whispered back. “I’m not free. I never was.” He closed his eyes and finally shed his tears, reaching up to quickly wipe them away. Tommy beat him to it, using his thumb to brush away the tears that fell from Oliver’s crystal blue eyes.  
“Oliver, I thought you were dead for five years. And I never got the chance to tell you something really important before you left on that damned boat.” He came forward a little more, so he and Oliver were chest to chest. Oliver looked up from the floor to Tommy’s equally as blue eyes.  
Oliver shook his head, fear in his eyes and expanding in his chest. “No, Tommy… Please, just… Just don’t, just stop talking. I don’t want to talk, I just want to hug and be done with it… Please…”  
Tommy shook his head and smiled up at Oliver with a sad smile. “Ollie, I’ve been regretting not telling you this for the past five years. Let me tell you this.” Oliver shook his head in protest, but Tommy kept going. “Ever since you told me you like guys and girls and everything in between, I’ve never stopped thinking about you. I tried to understand it for a long time, but when The Gambit sank and you weren’t found among the wreckage, I finally understood what you meant. Because when I lost you, when I thought you died, I realized that I couldn’t handle life without you. I attended your funeral and I cried like a damned baby. I mourned and cried and I had sex with so many women because I was trying to forget you. But after a couple years, I realized that if I forgot you then I couldn’t admit that I…” He stopped for a moment and gave a quiet laugh, smiling a little wider up at Oliver. “I love you, Oliver. I love you so fucking much. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. And I only figured this out after I lost you.” He pressed his right hand flat against Oliver’s chest, right where his heart was, which was beating wildly. Oliver’s eyes were filled with sadness and his tears were renewed, flowing freely down his cheeks. He wasn’t smiling, like Tommy thought he would, and his lips were still pressed into a thin line. “Ollie, I love you more than I can even imagine. And now that I have you back in my life, I’m never letting you go. I’m not going to let you disappear from my life again, I’m not going to let anyone else have you. You’re mine, and I love you so, so much, Ollie.” He licked his lips and looked up at Oliver for a reaction, hoping for one he could be pleased with. He hoped Oliver returned his affections, but he’d be happy if Oliver was still just his friend like before.  
Oliver stared at Tommy with sorrowful eyes that continued to shed fat tears that rolled down his cheeks. He took a shaky breath before he closed his eyes and rubbed at them with the heels of his palms, stepping away. “Oh Христос, Tommy… You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say that…”  
Tommy smiled a little and started to step towards Oliver again, but Oliver shook his head and Tommy’s smile faltered. “Ollie, what’s wrong? What… What did I do? Did I do something wrong?”  
Oliver shook his head and sniffled, stepping around Tommy and walking a few feet away. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve been fantasizing about this moment for years… But I…” he pulled his hands away from his face and he looked at them with tear blurred vision. He looked at the scars on his hands, the callouses, the evidence that he’d done unforgivable things. All he could see was the blood that was on them from times passed, the red in his leger. If Tommy knew everything he’d done, all the things he did to deserve hell tenfold… Surely Oliver would be rejected. “I can’t… I just can’t let you get involved with me, Tommy. I can’t let you get hurt, not again… Not again…” He sat down on the end of his bed, putting his hands over his face and taking deep shaky breaths so he could calm down. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I’m so, so sorry. I love you too, but I just can’t let you get hurt because of me. I can’t, I can’t let you get hurt again because of me.”  
Tommy came over to Oliver and knelt in front of him, taking his hands from the blond’s face and looking up at him with genuine concern. “Oliver, what do you mean? If you love me too then we should be together without giving a damn about the consequences. If we love each other then we should go on a date, we should be together and all that jazz. What do you mean you don’t want me to get hurt?”  
Oliver looked down at Tommy’s hands that held his own and for a moment he let himself imagine holding them while they were on a picnic or at a movie for something resembling a date. It was a bittersweet image and he smiled sadly. “Tommy, there are things you don’t know about me that you’d be better off knowing. You--You should be able to live your life without having to worry about being killed or injured or worse. You should be able to live happily without being concerned that you’re going to end up in the hospital or a coffin.” He shook his head and brought Tommy’s hands up to his forehead, choking back a sob. “I can’t let you get hurt, Tommy. Not again. Not again, I’m sorry.. I’m sorry….”  
Tommy looked up at Oliver for a long moment. Surely Oliver had to be joking. Surely he would say ‘just kidding’ and accept his affections and suggest a date. Surely this wasn’t a rejection like Tommy feared. “Oliver--”  
“Get out.”  
Tommy’s eyes widened at the whispered words and he stood in shock, his breathing shallow and shaky. “What?”  
“Get out, Tommy.” Oliver stood and turned away, stepping towards the windows and looking outside.  
“Oliver, if I did something wrong then--”  
“I said _GET OUT_!!” Oliver turned around to face Tommy and made himself look angry, forcing himself to shout at the man he loved.  
Tommy looked at Oliver with wide eyes, tears welling and burning in his eyes. He licked his lips and blinked a few times before he turned and exited quickly. On his way through the halls of the mansion he passed a very confused Moira Queen, who called after him in an attempt to stop him from leaving. Finally he made it to his car and he was driven home by his driver.

Back in his room, Oliver went back to his bed, sitting down on the mattress and putting his hands over his face. He allowed himself to finally let his sobs free, sobbing into his hands and hiccuping and sniffling pathetically while his mother ran into the room as well as she could in high heels. “Oliver,” She said, her voice quiet and concerned. “Oliver, what’s wrong? Why did tommy leave? Why are you crying?” She sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around his shaking shoulders. He shook his head, unable to speak for the moment while he cried. He simply turned his head and sobbed into her shoulder. Moira sighed and pressed a kiss to her son’s head. “Oh, Oliver… My poor baby boy… It’ll be alright, it’s okay…”  
Moira ended up comforting Oliver until he cried himself to sleep. She tucked him into his bed and ran a hand through his short hair before heading towards the door. She turned off the lights and stole one last look at her son before closing the door behind herself.  
In the hall, Thea was passing by the door as Moira came out of Oliver’s room. She paused and smiled a little at her mother, looking hopeful. “How’s Ollie? Did Tommy finally confess? Are they a couple now?”  
Moira smiled a little at her daughter and then looked down at her hands, stroking a thumb over her wedding ring. “No, darling, I don’t think so. Tommy left in a hurry. I think Oliver wasn’t ready for something so big so soon. I didn’t hear everything, but he said something about keeping Tommy safe. I think Oliver just needs some time. Maybe he’ll come around after he’s been home for a while.”  
Thea’s smile faded from her face and she huffed in disbelief. “No way. Ollie had a crush on Tommy ever since they became best friends! How could he just reject him like that, after all we’ve been through?”  
Moira shook her head and put a hand on Thea’s shoulder. “Thea, we have to keep in mind what Oliver’s been through as well. He was all alone on that island. He had to survive all on his own and he didn’t know anything else for five whole years. He’s not going to be ready for a relationship right away. Let’s just give him time. He’ll come around, I’m sure of it.”  
Thea watched as her mother walked away after patting her shoulder, and the seventeen year old looked at her brother’s door in annoyance. She crossed her arms and pursed her lips as if she had tasted something sour. She huffed and then walked away, walking quickly down the hall. Something wasn’t right, she thouh, and she would get to the bottom of it.  
Even if it meant getting hurt in the process.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author’s note: Okay, guys, this is the next chapter.  I hope you like it as much as you liked the first one; honestly I didn’t think I’d get so much support for this fic, since it’s only my first one and it’s not even my main fandom, but you know.  Whatever works.  Anyway, this features Tommy as the main person we see through, the one whom we relate to.  I hope you enjoy!**

 

Tommy sniffled as he sat in his car, using his fingers to rub at his eyes to keep the tears from falling.  Eventually his driver got him to the destination he’d wanted.  He quickly got out and told the driver he’d be spending the night there so he could return home.  The driver nodded and drove away, leaving Tommy to walk into the apartment building they’d arrived at.

He walked the familiar path up the stairs to the floor he needed and towards the door that was so familiar now.  He knocked and waited patiently, the swirling darkness of sadness getting tighter in his chest and leaving him to feel a little dizzy.

Laurel opened the door with an excited smile.  She looked like she was about to speak but stopped when she saw Tommy’s face.  He did  _ not _ look happy, not like she thought he would.  “Tommy…?” she said quietly, reaching forward for his hand.  He sniffled and reached a hand up to his nose to rub at with a finger, seemingly itchy.

A silence passed between them, a question hanging in the air as they stood there in the doorway.  Finally, Tommy spoke, his voice hoarse and quiet and thick with emotions he didn’t want to feel.  “He turned me down.”

Laurel sighed, seemingly knowing this would happen.  She took Tommy’s hand and pulled him inside her apartment.  She settled him on the couch with a pint of ice cream she’d had prepared just in case this happened--a person can never be too prepared for a rejection/breakup.  She watched him slowly start on the pint of mint-chocolate chip, and she watched him cautiously before she reached over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close.  Tommy leaned into her side and sniffled as he continued to eat his ice cream.

 

About halfway through the pint of mint chocolate chip, Tommy opened up and told Laurel the story of why he was crying in the first place.  Laurel sat and listened quietly, not interjecting or interrupting even if she wanted to; she knew when was a good time and when it wasn’t.  He got to the part where Oliver told him he returned his affections and almost broke down in a fit of sobs.  He had to pause and compose himself before he shakily continued to explain.  “H-He said he loved me back, but that he didn’t want to hurt me again… I don’t know what he meant by that… But he started to cry, and I still don’t understand why he told me all that.  He said he loved me back but then he turned me down.  Why would he say he loves me and then tell me to get out?  Why would he tell me that we can’t be together?  There’s no reason for us not to be together if we love each other, right?”

 

Laurel sighed and shook her head, pulling Tommy to herself.  She kissed the top of his head and he leaned into her side, stuffing some mint chip ice cream into his mouth.  “I know it’s hard to hear, Tommy, but I think maybe Ollie just isn’t ready for something so big so soon.  He’s been alone on that island for so long, I don’t think he knows quite how to handle things yet.  I mean, for god’s sake, he was hardly a trustworthy guy before the island.  Imagine what he went through in all that isolation, Tommy.  He had so much time to himself that he probably went crazy.  I talked to his mom for a while this morning over the phone and she said that he had a psychological evaluation.  By the end of it he came out with a recommendation for some drugs and a therapist.  So far he’s been back about a week and he’s already been told he needs more help than a regular mental patient!  Imagine how you’d feel if someone told you they love you and you had just gotten out of isolation.  You’d be scared too, wouldn’t you?”

 

Tommy was silent for a moment before he reluctantly nodded.  “Yeah, I guess…”

 

Laurel nodded and smiled a little, kissing the top of his head.  “So we just need to give him some time.  Maybe in a while, he’ll come around to the idea of dating someone.  Or, if we’re lucky, we can even get him out of his house for a while, yeah?”

 

Tommy smiled a little and nodded.  He liked the idea of partying with Oliver again.  He liked the idea of partying with him, getting drunk enough to have no regrets that night, and then going to a hotel room to do some more private things…

 

The brunet shook his head and he sighed, sitting up against the couch again, pulling away from Laurel, which made her frown a little.  “Thanks, Laurel.  For being here for me.  I know I’m not all that great when I’ve been rejected by someone.  I guess getting told no by Ollie, of all people, really just kinda just threw me for a loop, you know?”

 

Laurel nodded and she smiled at him softly, reaching out to pat his shoulder.  “No problem, Tommy.”  She stood up with a short sigh and she smiled at him happily.  “I’ll go get dinner ready.  Does chinese leftovers sound good to you?”

 

Tommy laughed a little, shaking his head.  “You sure know how to deal with rejection, Lo.  I’m surprised it’s not all ice cream with you.”

 

Laurel pouted in mock hurt from the teasing accusation.  “Just try not to gorge on it, Tommy.  Ollie said once he had a thing for girls with chub, but I think he still likes his guys to be skinny.”

 

* * *

 

 

A week later, Tommy found himself back at the Queens’ mansion.  He showed up and Mrs. Queen-Steele was the one who answered the door.  She looked like she had been about to leave with Walter Steele, who was in the usual grey suit.  Tommy gave a tired smile, and Moira returned it with an equal amount of tired.  “Good morning, Tommy.  It’s good to see you.  Are you here for Thea?”

 

“Actually, Ma’am,” he said, always his most polite when it came to his best friend’s mother.  “I’m here for Ollie.  I’m going to take him out for a day in the town.”

Moira’s smile faltered and eventually faded into a worried frown.  “I’d be careful then.  He’s spent the entire week in his room since you left last time.  And don’t take it the wrong way if he tells you to come back later, dear, he’s just having a hard time to adjust to normal life now.  We all have to keep in mind that he was isolated on that island after the Gambit sank.  He’s been all alone for five years and he doesn’t really know how to act yet around other people.”  She sighed and looked up at Walter for a moment before looking back at Tommy with a sad smile.  “All I’m saying, dear, is that you should be patient with him.  He’s not the same person he was five years ago before he went onto that big boat.”

 

Tommy smiled sadly at Moira and hugged her, shaking Walter’s hand, before heading inside the Queens’ mansion.  He waited for a moment before climbing the stairs up to the floor that Oliver’s room was on.  He hesitated before he knocked on the old, antique, wooden door.  After a long few moments, it opened to reveal a very tired looking Oliver.  He was clad in a sweater that was  _ very _ tight around him and some pants that looked a like they were so loose they would fall off if it weren’t for the belt that held them up around Oliver’s hips, though they looked snug around his thighs and calves.  Tommy didn’t focus too much on that though.  For the most part, he focused on Oliver’s eyes and the dark circles beneath the ocean blue eyes the brunet so adored.  The blond looked like he hadn’t slept well for days, and Tommy knew right away that it was a bad idea to ask about it from the way the other was standing so rigidly straight.

 

Oliver was the first to speak, his surprise at Tommy’s presence evident in his wide eyes and his quiet voice.  “Tommy…?”

 

Tommy nodded and gave his usual goofy, shit eating grin.  “Yep!  That’s me, buddy.  Can I come in?”

 

Oliver seemed to study his best friend for a moment before he ended up nodding, stepping to the side so his friend could enter.  Tommy strode into the large bedroom as if nothing had happened the last time they had met.  He looked over his shoulder at Oliver and smiled happily, though he knew that Oliver saw through the fakeness of it.  “How about we hang out today?  I wanted to take you out for a day in the town.  Shopping, sightseeing, that sort of thing.  A lot’s changed since you’ve been gone, so I wanted to fill you in on everything that’s developed.”

 

Oliver looked like he was considering before he quirked an eyebrow at his friend, a slight frown on his lips.  “It’s not like I was on vacation, Tommy.  I was shipwrecked.”

 

“I know, it’s just not something that’s easy to discuss.  You were dead, now you’re not, so it’s over and done with.  Let’s just get you caught up, okay?  We don’t even have to go out, we can just hang out here in your room and play on your new, fancy-schmancy laptop that your mom and Walter bought you!  How ‘bout it?”

 

The blond regarded his friend for a moment, looking at him as if he were an alien or something, before he nodded, sitting down on the edge of his bed.  “Alright.  Let’s stay here and look at the computer.  I really don’t feel like going out today.  Maybe tomorrow though, if you’re up for it?”

 

Tommy was taken aback but he still nodded, glad his friend was starting to warm up to the idea of going outside his room.  The brunet went over to the desk and got the laptop they had mentioned.  He opened it and tried to use the password he thought Oliver would have used.  He frowned and his eyebrows knit together in both confusion and slight annoyance.  “Ollie, what’s your password?  It’s not the same as it was on your last computer.”

 

Oliver pressed his lips into a thin line--what seemed to Tommy as a nervous mannerism--and he held his hand out for the computer silently.  Tommy took this as a gesture that meant he wasn’t allowed to know the password.  He handed over the computer and then watched as Oliver’s hands flew over the keyboard so fast that he could barely see what keys he’d hit.  Tommy suspected this was intentional, so that he didn’t know the password to unlock the computer, but then Oliver handed the laptop back to him without protest.

 

They then spent the entire day on Oliver’s laptop.  Tommy showed him a lot of music, set up a facebook account, as well as a twitter, instagram, tumblr, and youtube account.  “It’s important to keep up with your social media,” he had reasoned, but mostly he wanted to be able to message Oliver at any time that he wanted.  They spent a lot of time on tumblr and youtube, which was his attempt to make Oliver laugh or even just smile.  It had almost worked.  He showed him videos of people falling, funny videos, cat and dog videos, and even introduced him to different podcasts.  At the end, Oliver had only smiled once, and it was when Tommy had made an incredibly corny joke about the blond’s eyes being as blue as the ocean.

 

It came to be very dark outside and Oliver was starting to doze off while they sat on his bed and watched more videos on youtube.  As they were in the middle of watching a guy make impossible shots into a basketball hoop, Moira came into the room after knocking.  Her smile was nervous and cautious, like someone who was afraid to show their fear.  “How are you boys doing?  Tommy, I was wondering if you’d like to use our guest room and sleepover.  I already called your father, and he said he’s okay with it.  I just thought I’d ask before you decided anything officially.”

 

Tommy looked over to Oliver, raising an eyebrow and smiling.  “Wha’d’ya think, Ollie?  Want me to sleepover?  It’ll be just like old times!”

 

Oliver blinked and looked to the laptop, pausing their video.  “If you want to, that’s your choice.  But if it’s alright, I’d like to sleep alone tonight.”

 

Tommy and Moira both nodded, saying simultaneously, “Of course.”  the two smiled at each other before Tommy turned to Oliver and smiled confidently at him.  “No one will make you do anything you’re not comfortable with, Ollie.  You do what makes you comfortable.”

 

Oliver blushed darkly as he looked to Tommy and then looked away in embarrassment.  “Tommy, you’re so embarrassing…”  He muttered, pursing his lips as if he had tasted something sour.  Tommy laughed and shook his head, patting Oliver on the back, mindful of the scars he knew were beneath the thin fabric of the sweater that stretched and strained over the expanse of Oliver’s muscled, scarred torso.

 

* * *

 

 

Tommy was very much  _ not _ sleeping.  He couldn’t, how could he?  He knew Oliver was bound to not sleep well despite his assurances that he would be fine.  It was raining heavily, sheets of it pounding against the old windows and it was pattering so loudly against the room nearly three floors above them that it could be heard all the way to the first floor.  Tommy couldn’t help but be worried about his best friend.  So, naturally, he couldn’t sleep.  He got up, thinking of what had happened just a few hours ago at dinner.  Oh god, it had been so awkward…  Oliver had said something that had probably been intended as sarcasm, but in reality it actually seemed quite serious, despite the teasing smile he directed at Moira and Walter.   _ ‘I didn’t realize you wanted to sleep with my mother, Walter.’ _  God, it had been so tense.  Moira and Walter tried to defend themselves, and Tommy had to tried to get Oliver’s attention away from the topic, but the blond had excused himself from the table afterward, not even giving a reason as to why.  No one was allowed in his room that night, so Tommy said goodnight through the door.

 

Not a moment after the brunet finished thinking of the memory, he was at Oliver’s bedroom door.  Moira and Walter had followed, as well as Thea.  All three of them were in bathrooms, either silk or fuzzy fleece.  Tommy was shirtless and in his flannel pyjamas.  They all hesitated.  Moira knocked first, calling for her son.  “Oliver?  Honey, are you alright?  We heard the thunder and wondered if you were okay…”

 

No answer came.

 

Tommy tried next.  He knocked thrice against the door, smiling nervously.  “Come on, Ollie, we’re all worried here!  We just wanted to make sure you’re okay!”

 

Once again there was no answer.

 

Walter and Thea were about to try next when there was a very loud crash, like the sound of glass shattering.  Tommy gasped as Moira and Thea both yelped.  Walter opened the door and they all ran in to see Oliver curled up on the floor among the shards of glass.  Tommy got to his friend first and he rolled him onto his back, shouting his name through the loud thunder.  “ _ OLIVER! _ ”

 

The blond’s eyes opened wide and he took Tommy’s upper arm, flipping him onto the floor among the glass shards.  Oliver held his hand tightly around the brunet’s throat, the blond’s face alight with anger and fear.  His eyes were wide and unrecognizable as Tommy yelped loudly, trying desperately to pull off the hand around his throat, the other hand holding him down by pressing flat against his chest.

 

“Oliver!!”  Moira screamed, stepping back with her eyes showing the horror that she felt.

 

This seemed to break the spell that Oliver was under.  His face relaxed and he jumped back from Tommy, pressing himself against the wall with fear written across his face.  Tommy coughed and he rolled onto his hands and knees, turning his head to look at Oliver with concern and worry.

 

Moira crouched down and looked at Oliver with the same expression as Tommy, slowly inching her way towards her son.  “It’s okay, son,” she said gently, thunder resounding through the air after her words.  “It’s okay.  You’re home, Oliver, you’re home.  You’re safe, nothing is going to hurt you.”

 

Tommy got into the same position as Moira, kneeling before his best friend and holding his hand out to the terrified blond.  “Ollie,” He said, his voice firm.  Oliver turned his wide, fear filled eyes towards his best friend.  “It’s okay.  We’re at your house, we’re in Starling City.  It’s storming outside.  You’re home, you’re safe, you’re surrounded by people who love you.”

 

Oliver panted as he looked up at Tommy, still pressing himself against the wall.  “I-I’m sorry,” he said, his voice shaking as he whispered his frantic apologies.  “I’m sorry, Tommy, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I--”

 

Tommy inched closer and pulled Oliver against his chest.  The blond went rigid and silent.  “I want you to tell me five things you see.  I’m gonna count, you tell me what they are.”  Oliver’s panting didn’t subside but he nodded, his fingers curled into fists against Tommy’s chest.   “Okay, let’s start.  One…”

 

Oliver closed his eyes tightly and then looked around frantically, trying to focus on something.  “Glass?”  He whispered, eyes suddenly focusing on the shattered glass on the floor of his bedroom behind Tommy.

 

“Two.”

 

Oliver looked around again, his muscles still rigid as he was held against his best friend.  He glanced at his mother, who was looking impressed and worried at the same time.  “Mom…”

 

“Three.”

 

Oliver’s eyes landed on a lamp across the room that the bulb was flickering in.  “A… A lamp.”

 

“Four.  You’re almost done, just two more.”

 

“I-I…”  Oliver glanced at Tommy’s neck, his breath hitching in his throat.  He wrenched his eyes away, however, and they landed immediately on Thea’s slippers.  “Th-Thea’s slippers.”

 

“Five.  One more, Ollie, you can do it.”

 

“B-But, I--!”

 

“Gimme one more thing you see, Ollie.  Just one more thing you see.  Then we’ll move on.”

 

Oliver closed his eyes tightly and then opened them, letting them land on the desk that the flickering lamp was sitting on.  His computer stood open, the keys smashed off of the keyboard.  He couldn’t remember why.  “My--My computer.”

 

Tommy nodded and reached a hand up to Oliver’s shoulder, rubbing it gently but firmly.  “Now tell me four things you can touch.”

 

“But you said--!”

 

“Four things, Ollie.  Come on, you can do it.  One.”

 

Oliver closed his eyes tightly and reached his hand out.  He felt Tommy’s heart beat against his hand, how fast it was and yet the brunet was so calm.  “Your heart.”

 

“Good. Two.”

 

The scarred muscles of his back flexed beneath Tommy’s fingertips.  He reached his other hand out and he felt the hard surface of the wall next to him.  “Th-the wall.”

 

“Three.”

 

He moved his hand and he felt the fuzzy carpet beneath him, and it made him gasp.  “Carpet…”

 

“One more.  Four.”

 

Oliver reached his hand up and felt something else fuzzy.  His breath hitched in his throat again and his voice was raspy as he spoke again.  “Your hair…”

 

“Good job.  Now gimme three things that you hear. One.”

 

Oliver took a deep, shaky breath and he listened intently to everything.  The most obvious thing was the thing he said first.  “The rain.”  It took him a moment to realize that his voice was only a whisper now, but more steady than it had been only a few moments ago.  “I hear the rain.”

 

“Two.”

 

He listened to everything again.  He tilted his head a little, trying to listen better to the thing he had picked.  “Thea’s breathing.”  He stated.  Immediately, he heard her gasp.  He didn’t have to open his eyes to know that his mother and sister shared a look.

 

“Three.  One more, Ollie, you can do it.”

 

Oliver listened to the other things in the room, tuning out the rain and Thea’s breathing.  He already knew those things, he had to listen to something else.  “My heartbeat,” he said, listening to his own heart beating in his ears, how it drowned out everything else.  He was surprised he could even hear anything else through it.

 

“That was good.  Now gimme two things that you can smell.  One.”

 

Oliver took a deep, still shaky breath in through his nose.  He already had an answer be the rain, so he decided not to say that one again.  So he answered with a different smell.  “Your shampoo.”

 

It took a moment before Tommy continued.  “Two.”

 

He sniffed at the air again and his eyebrows knit together in confusion.  He smelled something burning.  It was probably the lightbulb of his lamp on his desk, as it continued to flicker.  “The lamp’s lightbulb.”

 

“Great job, Ollie.  Just one more thing.  Tell me one thing that you can taste. What taste do you have in your mouth.”

 

Oliver sighed and he ran his tongue along the edges of his front teeth, his lips pressed shut.  He definitely knew that taste and it almost made him laugh; he snorted instead and pressed his forehead and his closed eyes against Tommy’s shoulder.  “Bacon from the potatoes we had at dinner.”

 

Tommy laughed a little and he rubbed his hands over Oliver’s back slowly and gently.  “Good.  How d’you feel, Ollie?”

 

Oliver was silent for a long moment before he curled his hands into fists against Tommy’s chest again.  “Tired.”

 

“Let’s get to bed then.  Do you wanna be alone?”

 

Almost immediately Oliver shook his head frantically no.

 

“Alright.  Let’s get you to the guest room I’m staying in.  We’ll sleep in there, okay?  I have a feeling your mom doesn’t want you to get hurt by the glass on the floor.”

 

Tommy felt Oliver nod and he helped the blond down the hall and into the guest room.  They ended up in the bed with Oliver curled into Tommy’s side.  Moira, Walter, and Thea all said goodnight and the brunet billionaire watched his best friend as quiet, raspy breaths passed their way through Oliver’s pale lips.  Tommy couldn’t help himself.  He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Oliver’s hairline, wrapping his arms around the blond and sighing.  “Oh Ollie…” he whispered to himself.  “What on earth happened to you on that island…?”

 

He never received an answer, not even when he realized Oliver might have heard him through the haze of sleep, but he supposed it was not something he would learn for a long while yet.  And for once, he was okay with not knowing.  Maybe, if he didn’t know, he could pretend that it hadn’t happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to formally apologize to ThomE_Gemcity_06, because I had promised to post this a few days ago but I got sidetracked by school and job hunting. But here it is! I hope you're all happy with this new chapter.
> 
> Bonus Points to whoever can answer this question correctly: Was Oliver awake at the end of the chapter?
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Also, in case you were wondering, the calming technique that Tommy uses to calm Oliver down from his panic attack is an actual thing. Here's a link: http://www.therapistsb.com/blog/post/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique


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